In March 2020, the unthinkable happened. Practically overnight, the world shut down in response to COVID—and at the very same time, I made the life-altering decision to leave my husband and move out of my marital home.
It was the first time I had ever lived on my own, and the timing felt strangely perfect. While most people saw the shutdown as an obstacle, I felt it was a blessing. In fact, I sometimes wonder if the universe orchestrated it just for me. The stillness gave me the space I desperately needed to adjust, heal, and rediscover myself.
One of my greatest blessings during that season was my “Biddies”—three friends who became my lifeline. Four single women navigating life alone, we leaned on each other through the uncertainty. We laughed, cried, supported, and kept each other sane in the middle of a world that felt like it was unraveling. For about a year and a half, life felt surprisingly full and beautiful.
But as the world slowly reopened, my friends returned to their pre-COVID routines. Their lives picked up again—mine didn’t. That’s when the loneliness I had been spared finally caught up with me. The hurt, anger, and grief I had been able to push aside came rushing to the surface.
That’s when I chose therapy. My therapist taught me the importance of learning how to keep myself company—something I had never truly mastered. And not long after, I made another big decision: I was moving to Florida.
I figured if I was going to be lonely, I’d rather be lonely somewhere without winter. In June 2022, I packed up and gave myself a two-year window to see what Florida could offer. I joined a singles group (with a convenient two-year contract), made friends, and eventually met my wonderful boyfriend. When my contract ended and my roommate moved out, I found myself in a cozy one-bedroom apartment, surrounded by good memories, lasting friendships, and a relationship I cherish.
But even with those blessings, loneliness has crept back in over the past year. My boyfriend’s busy schedule means he’s not always around. My friends, no longer bound together by the singles group, have returned to their own lives. We still connect now and then, but my evenings are quieter these days. And truthfully—I don’t mind. I’m not much of a party person anyway. I prefer peaceful nights and productive days.
Still, I sometimes catch myself wondering why the phone doesn’t ring, or why I’m not included in more plans. And yet, I see the difference between who I was back then and who I am now. I’m no longer searching for distractions to fill the silence. Instead, I want to spend my time intentionally—protecting my energy, raising my vibration, and aligning with what truly matters.
So here I am, ready for the next chapter. Over the next twelve months, I plan to educate myself, challenge myself, grow in ways I’ve only dreamed of, and bring those dreams to life.
For Anyone Who Can Relate
If you’ve ever found yourself in a season of transition, heartbreak, or loneliness, know that you are not alone. These times can feel heavy, but they are also powerful opportunities to create something new. A few things that have helped me—and may help you too:
- Find your “Biddies.” Even one or two people who truly “get” you can make all the difference. Seek out friendships where love and support flow both ways.
- Give yourself permission to heal. Therapy, journaling, or simply allowing your feelings to surface without judgment can be transformative.
- Learn to keep yourself company. Take yourself on walks, start a new hobby, or dedicate time to something you’ve always wanted to learn. Your own presence can become comforting, not scary.
- Be intentional with your energy. Pay attention to who and what fills your cup—and who or what drains it. Choose accordingly.
- Create a vision for your next chapter. Even if it feels far away, setting goals or making a plan for the future can give you direction and hope.
Loneliness doesn’t mean you’re broken—it often means you’re being given space to rebuild yourself in a stronger, more aligned way.
So if you’re standing where I once stood, trust that this season won’t last forever. Growth is waiting for you, and you get to decide how the next chapter of your story unfolds.
We’ve all met two people who have gone through similar challenges but ended up on completely different paths. Maybe it’s two coworkers who both lost their jobs, two friends who both faced heartbreak, or two neighbors who both battled health setbacks. On the surface, their circumstances look nearly identical. But their outcomes? Night and day.
I was recently reflecting on how much our mindset shapes our experience of healing and growth. Take something like a physical injury. Two people could suffer the same issue — even at the same time. One might approach it with determination, focusing on health, fitness, and building resilience. The other might lean on quick fixes, give up activities that once brought them joy, or turn to substances just to get through the day.
Neither approach makes someone “good” or “bad” — it simply highlights how powerfully our beliefs and choices shape our journey. When we decide to double down on supporting our bodies and minds, even when it’s hard, we open ourselves to healing, possibility, and joy. But when we let pain dictate our choices, we risk shrinking our world until the things that once made us feel alive start to disappear.
Why Mindset Is a Healing Tool
- Belief creates momentum. When we believe healing is possible, we’re more likely to take steps that support recovery.
- Small choices add up. Choosing movement, proper nutrition, and self-care daily builds strength over time.
- Joy is medicine. Holding on to activities that light us up can be just as important for healing as the exercises we do.
- Quick fixes have trade-offs. While substances or distractions can ease the moment, they don’t address the root cause — and sometimes keep us stuck.
Questions to Ask Yourself
- Am I choosing habits that move me closer to healing, or ones that keep me comfortable but stagnant?
- What activities bring me joy that I refuse to give up, even if I need to modify how I do them?
- How can I support my body and my mind through this challenge?
At the end of the day, our bodies are resilient — but our minds often set the pace for our healing. The story we tell ourselves matters. If we choose to believe in our own strength, we can often find ways to keep joy and movement alive, even in the middle of challenges.
